Passing Strange

The internet likes to bitch about things. It especially likes to bitch about movies. Picking apart movies is tricky, though, because how can you really tell if what you’re criticizing a flaw in the movie or something that’s there by design? If a character is being hypocritical, maybe that’s the entire point of the scene, and calling them out on that is idiotic because the filmmakers themselves would agree with you. One of my favorite examples is The Dark Knight Rises, which (spoiler alert, for the few that haven’t seen it) ends with Bruce Wayne/Batman faking his death and knocking off to Italy to spend time with Anne Hathaway/Catwoman. Many have pointed out that it’s ridiculous that a wealthy playboy can just waltz around in broad daylight without worrying that anyone will recognize him, but how many American CEOs can you name? Excluding former and late ones like Gates and Jobs, there’s…I don’t know, Tim Cook, Warren Buffet, and I’m out. Seeing as how Bruce Wayne was only a local celebrity to begin with and spent his later years mostly behind closed doors, the worst that could happen would be the occasional tourist approaching him, at which point all he’d have to do is say, “No, but I get that all the time.” Sorry, that’s been bugging me for a while.

Little things drive me insane. For example, I just ordered a couple of items from Amazon: an RCA cable and an HDMI-to-RCA converter that I will need to hook my laptop up to my TV so that my friends can watch Doctor Who on my TV rather than my laptop when they come over this week. Worrying that the cable would not arrive in time, I considered upgrading the shipping to two-day rather than the standard three-to-five days, but decided against it. Or did I? I just got an email telling me that I did, in fact, upgrade to two-day shipping, which means the cable should arrive in time (the converter is already on its way), but that I’ll be charged an extra $10. I remember clicking on the button that would change my shipping method on my account, but then scrolling back in my browser when I decided against it. I figured I’d have to click on an “Are you sure?” button or something to confirm, but I definitely did not do that, yet my cable is on its way anyway and I’m out $10. This annoys me. To make up for it, I’m going to charge something that I need to my credit card (my dad still foots the bill for that, I’m not totally financially independent just yet) to make up for my own mistake. Don’t argue with me; that makes sense.

Random: Even though it’s been months since I’ve posted a picture of him, random searches for “Taylor Lautner ass” are still leading people to this blog. That’s kind of magical.

Speaking of Taylor Lautner, I revisited “Things I Hate Doing, Part 3”, the post that landed me in hot water all those months ago. Here is the passage that got me in trouble. See if you can tell what I did wrong:

My future apartment-mate has offered to let me stay in his guest room once his visiting family is gone, but for the time being, I have to couch-surf. Not fun. Not fun at all. Sometimes I get up in the morning not knowing where I’ll stay that night. Two nights ago, I didn’t sleep at all due to poor stress management. If this doesn’t improve soon, I will kill everyone.

You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Looking back, it seems pretty innocuous. Honestly, when you consider how many people I’ve wished death upon in the last one year-plus, it seems pretty hard to imagine that anybody read that and thought I was actually going to kill people. It just seems so…mild. How many times have you said, “Oh, I could kill him/her” for some non-murder-worthy offense? Imagine how you’d feel if everyone took you seriously. See what I mean?

I’m not sure what it says about me that while browsing a bookstore several years ago, I stumbled across called The 500 Most Evil People Who Ever Lived or something like that and immediately opened it up and flipped to the part about serial killers. I guess I just have a morbid fascination with people doing unbelievably fucked up shit that nobody else can even imagine. Some of them honestly can’t help themselves. But most of them can. Honestly, being a good person is as simple as figuring out what the right thing to do is and then doing it. It’s just that complications always arise. You definitely shouldn’t kill hundreds of children, then masturbate into their entrails, though. Just FYI.

You know, I’ve been frustrated with Congress over the past few years, but they definitely reached a new low last week. As if their complete and utter failure to provide adequate healthcare for 9/11 first responders weren’t enough, now they took time to address the sequester, focusing only on the part that was preventing them from going on vacation. I’m surprised The Daily Show doesn’t introduce a new segment called “What the Fuck is Wrong With You People?” just for them. Because sometimes, there really are no words. I guess they just think, deep down, that their shit doesn’t stink. Fuck them. The real change is happening elsewhere.

I’ve mocked Aaron Sorkin before for being preachy and sanctimonious, and to be fair, the below clip is both. It’s still true, though. I don’t think I’ll start watching The Newsroom anytime soon, however. I’ll start with The West Wing.

I have just one thing to say about a certain big recent event: remember John Amaechi?


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