Things I Hate Doing, Part 5

5. Listening to People Speculate About How Much Longer Jon Stewart Will Do The Daily Show

john oliverLook, I know he’s been doing it for fourteen years and three months is a long time to be away from any job, but I really don’t think Stewart will be leaving the show anytime soon. This is not to say that we cannot have an interesting talk about whether or not the show would be able to survive without him. Unlike The Colbert Report, in which the entire show centers around the persona created by its host, TDS has become an institution over the past decade-plus, and a great many (myself included) use it as their go-to source of information whenever something newsworthy happens. I’m just saying that I think we can dial it back a notch. Stew Beef is in his early fifties, which is well below retirement age, and as much as I like John Oliver, I think a lot of the people who are saying that Stewart’s act has gotten tired are just falling victim to the old saw about familiarity breeding contempt. Stewart’s the best we’ve got for the moment. My only problem with him is that the interviews are hit-and-miss. The authors and politicians are often interesting, the movie stars less so, and Stewart’s need to be a nice guy and appear deferential causes him to go way too easy on dbags who deserve far worse, like Mike Huckabee. I also dislike watching him ask an old comedy buddy on the show just so he can trade stories about the good old days and feign interest in their shitty new movie. But sometimes he gets somebody who knows how to play off of him.

Maybe I should spend less time on the internet. The need people have to overanalyze every new development and talk about how this new thing is just so much better than that old thing (which was never all that good even in its prime, incidentally) is fucking grating. I’m going to go read something.

4. Having to Go Way Out of My Way to Do Something I Want to Do

Upstream Color is now available on Netflix. It’s an obscure little indie movie that, when it was in theaters not too longshane carruth ago, was only being shown in one theater in all of Manhattan. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make time to see it, but then I did. Good movie, not for everybody, but definitely one of a kind. There is no point in summarizing the plot here. It’s a science fiction film made on an incredibly low budget that deals with an organism that allows people to form telepathic links with each other. There is also a love story in there, along with some philosophy and sort of a crime thriller. It’s very good. The filmmaker, Shane Carruth, surprised the movie-going community in 2004 with Primer, an even lower-budget film about a pair of dudes who create a time travel machine in one of their garages. Pretty crazy stuff, and if you can explain what happens in the last 20 minutes, you’re smarter than I am. I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I just want to say that if there were justice in the world, Michael Bay would be mopping Shane Carruth’s floors and Shane wouldn’t have to take nine years in between movies just to scrounge up the miniscule amount of money that he needs. He’s one to watch.

3. Not Having Enough Energy

Right now, I feel not so very different from how I felt in the months leading up to my departure for grad school. I spend most of my day sitting around on my computer caught between several things I kind of feel like I should be doing. Mostly, I just dick around. You can measure how bored I am by how many times a day I check in on Facebook. Someday, I hope that number will be zero. But for now, it’s much higher. I just don’t really have any focus. I’ll go to work and spend every minute I haven’t specifically been told to do something on the internet. They give us projects to work on in our downtime. I recently finished my last project and was immediately assigned the same thing all over again (but with different books), so it’s hard for me to care too deeply. My very first project was basically data entry, and since it required a computer, I could go on the internet whenever I wanted, but took pains to minimize it because hey, I’m at work. Now my project does not involve a computer, meaning that I have to log off and stand up in order to actually get some work done. That’s a lot harder. One day this week, I was so tired that I just found a dark corner of the stacks and sat quietly for a while. I have the kind of job where one can slip away for long periods of time without being noticed. That doesn’t mean I’m not trying to do it less.

2. Having No Friends

Okay, so this isn’t strictly accurate. I have a few friends. Like, four or five, give or take, depending on what mood I’m in. But there’s a sort of malaise to my life these days. Everybody else seems to be doing exciting shit, like taking a cross-country road trip with their significant other or something. My average day consists of shelving books for eight hours, then going home to watch something on Netflix, masturbate, go to bed and start the whole thing over again. It’s draining, and since a lot of people skipped town after graduation and I wasn’t that close to too many of them to begin with, there just isn’t much for me to do except keep on doing the same old shit while looking for a job and stuff. Sigh.

1. Going Nerd-Crazy

Okay, so as you may have noticed by reading this blog, lately I’ve been getting deeper and deeper into Game of Thrones/Song of Ice and Fire. It’s fun, although I’m trying not to let it take over my life. It seems to have succeeded Harry Potter as the epic fantasy series of the moment, and that’s fine with me because, as somebody (can’t remember who) said to me not long ago, “Sometimes the reason everybody is into something is because it’s actually good.” I’m still only about two-thirds of the way through the third book (reading can be slow going for me, and I’m splitting my time between that and a few others, plus the library sent back this other book that they had had on reserve for me before I was done with it, which is annoying) and watching the TV show at the same time, trying not to get ahead of where I’m at in the book. There’s a lot to keep track of here. They should really offer Poly Sci credits to people who can follow all the subplots.

By the way, did you know that before he was Bronn, Jerome Flynn was a pop singer? I love the way that all of the comments underneath the video are about GoT.

I wish this were Daenerys’ theme music.


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