I like this video. First of all, it’s a catchy song and a funny video. Second, it’s a nice big “fuck you” to everyone who says that women can be funny only if they aren’t physically attractive. (And before somebody says so, no, Christopher Hitchens was not one of those people. He said women generally aren’t funny, not that they can’t or shouldn’t be funny. Essentially, he was poking fun at exactly the cultural standards people accuse him of upholding. If attractive women worked harder to entertain him, that just made him that much happier.)
My computer has a virus on it (I think). I don’t know how it got on there, which is annoying, since that leaves me baffled as to how to prevent something like this from happening again. I didn’t visit any suspicious-looking websites, download any suspicious-looking programs, or open any suspicious-looking emails (recently, anyway). Fortunately, almost all of the data currently on it is either recoverable or something I can live without, which means that I still have to transfer the stuff that I need and don’t have backed up onto my external hard drive, which is difficult, as the computer is barely even functioning and the hard drive will have to be scanned afterwards. At least the I.T. people at my school are willing to help me with it. Maybe the problem is that my computer doesn’t have virus protection software. I downloaded Norton, but it didn’t activate for some reason.
I think we need to talk about how fucked up so much children’s entertainment. The Giving Tree is a beloved classic, but it’s also about an abusive co-dependent relationship. Why is that so moving? I don’t know, but I really love that book. Belle in Beauty and the Beast has a case of Stockholm Syndrome, but it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than that. The Beast lets her go when he realized that her father needs her, and she returns of her own free will. So no matter what the cynics tell you, that is real love, even if it’s just a movie. (I met one girl who tried to argue that the movie’s message is that every beast is a prince underneath, which falls apart when you consider that Gaston is as handsome as anyone in the village but also a total piece of shit. The Beast really isn’t a bad guy, and when you look at what he does, none of it causes any lasting harm. So there.) There was a live-action version of the story back in the 40s, although that one implied that Belle liked the Beast more when he was, well, a Beast. He’s certainly more interesting that way, but that’s why the movie ends immediately after the transformation.
I’m still having trouble with this whole “letting go and moving on” thing. Too many of my friends have drifted away over the years, and I can’t tell if they’ll ever come back or not. With some of the ones I knew in college, I can’t tell if they’re just preoccupied with other shit or were never really good friends to begin with. Some of them I unfriended on Facebook a while back and they didn’t even notice. Then I re-added another, and he didn’t accept. I guess he just didn’t care anymore. I’m not really sure what to make of that. I try to keep in touch with people nonetheless. Honestly, if you’re somebody I knew from those periods and you’re even reading this, don’t worry, because you’re not one of the people I’ve lost touch with. I just don’t really know what to make of myself sometimes. I moved from California to New York, got a degree, and…yeah, that happened. I have a lot of fucking debts. Moving on.
As of this writing, something awful just happened. I tried to back up my few remaining files before bringing my computer in to the I.T. people this Tuesday. It took over an hour for my computer to boot up in safe mode. I waited until it was ready, then plugged in my external hard drive. Just as I was opening up my documents folder, the Blue Screen of Death popped up. I tried to restart my computer, but now it won’t boot up at all. This virus is fucking sadistic. There were essays and stories on that computer that I had written longhand, then typed up on the computer. That took longer, but the result was better writing. I still have the hard copies in my notebooks, but the fact that my computer waited until I was just about to save my work, then stopped functioning makes me wonder if there isn’t some Lisbeth Salander-type hacker somewhere who woke up this Tuesday and decided to make my life a living hell. I can deal with getting a new computer. But I don’t want to retype all of my work. It’s just too fucking draining.
You know, I’m not very tech-savvy, but I’ve never seen a virus behave like this before. My computer was working perfectly that morning. Then I put it in hibernate and went to the gym. When I got back, nothing worked. The only virus(es) I’ve seen before will give some warning that they’re there. The computer will start running a little slower, you’ll notice an icon on your desktop that wasn’t there before, and then the whole thing will shut down. This virus is like the Bubonic Plague or something. It hits suddenly and kills before anyone has had time to process things. Maybe I should have made sure my virus protection software was working better, but this seems like an especially harsh way for the universe to teach me to have backup files and shit. It just isn’t fair. I don’t deserve this.
I’ve had to go to the library to use the computer these past few days. It’s put a drain on my porn consumption. Here’s an 80s song.