The Fall

I am contractually obligated to say something about Tom Daley’s coming out. I have spent the past year or so drooling over him on this blog and I definitely don’t have his calendar on my wall, so let’s get this out of the way. First of all, he’s not gay, but bisexual. He said he still fancies girls. That means he still fancies girls. It doesn’t mean that in another year or two, he’ll be coming out as gay à la Elton John or half of the other gay men out there. Nowhere in the video does he even use the words “gay” or “bisexual”, so take him at face value when he says that he is dating a man, not that he could only ever be with a man. I know at least one bisexual man who came out as a teenager. Years later, he still identifies that way. Funny, that.

I’m resisting the urge to post another pic of him in a Speedo. I have spent so much time leering at him these past couple years that I feel my penis needs a break. So I’ll talk about myself. I like to think that I am pretty good at reading people. I’m not sure about my gaydar, but over the years, there has been God knows how much speculation about Daley and his sexuality. I never thought he was gay, but I’m not sure if I thought he was straight, either. Bisexual people need visibility, you know. Sexuality is a spectrum, not a dichotomy. Even the brilliant gay Renaissance Man Stephen Fry is, apparently, attracted to women sometimes. Yes, labels are useful, and at a certain point, it’s a relief to be able to just say “I am X, not Y”, but we still need to respect people’s right to self-identify. Fuck it, here’s another Speedo pic.

tom daley37Professional sports remains a not-terribly-LGBT-friendly place. Oh, there are folks like Matthew Mitcham, Orlando Cruz, and Jason Collins. But can you really expect that much progressiveness from a field that still has so much blatantly racist “locker room talk”? If this is the way some athletes talk about people of color, I shudder to think of what they say about the gays.

I have a bit of a weak spot for shitty fantasy. Over the summer, I watched The Covenant, a godawful braindead movie about prep school boys who are secretly witches from the director of Die Hard 2. One little thing that drove me nuts about the movie was the old trope of movie characters referring to other movies by the people who are in them rather than the title, as in, “Let’s go see the new Brad Pitt movie.” I like Brad Pitt, but I have never uttered those words. Once, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to see the new Matt Damon movie, but I think that was because he couldn’t remember the title (Elysium) and figured that since we both like science fiction, we should see it. One of the many things I liked about Knocked Up was that the characters said they were going to see Spider-Man 3 rather than “the new Tobey Maguire movie”. Because nobody talks like that.

But anyways. I find that crappy fantasy works a bit better as escapism than, say a shitty sitcom. Those are just painful, but Eragon, despite being a blatant ripoff of Earthsea, LOTR, and Star Wars, was still kind of a fun book in a “turn your brain off” sort of way. It’s just the movie that sucked. Really, I don’t know of a better way to blow off steam during the holidays than by kicking back and watching something, anything featuring robots and dragons and shit. Right, now I’m catching up on Doctor Who, and while I’m on record as saying that these past few seasons have not been up to snuff, it’s still pretty good comfort food. I’ve always been a bit of an Anglophile, and Who is the sort of thing you can totally lose your life in if you’re not careful. The Covenant is not British, but it has lots of gratuitous male nudity, which makes up for that.

I see movies on my own a lot. That’s partially because I don’t have any friends, and partially because everyone is so busy that it’s not always easy to get people to join me for a movie when I always pick the movie. Thor was lots of fun and better than the first. The relationship between Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings totally made the movie. (How many Hollywood blockbusters pass the Bechdel test?) Some people find Dennings’ character annoying, but I think she steals the show. I just wish Christopher Eccleston had gotten the chance to do a bit more than glower and look evil. He’s a terrific actor, so I suppose he did a fine job with what he was given, but it is odd that they would hire somebody so quirky and offbeat just to slather makeup on him and make him growl a lot. I keep hoping he’ll return to Doctor Who for any reason, maybe even just for a cameo? I should download a few more of the Big Finish Audio Adventures. Now that I have a job again, it’s nice just to have some spending money.

"Everybody dies, Thor. Just this once, everybody dies!"

“Everybody dies, Thor. Just this once, everybody dies!”

It’s getting harder and harder to feel like you’re not just one of the pack. These days, all anybody talks about is how hard it is to be a Millenial. (That, or how lazy we all are. But those people can go fuck themselves.) Seen from the outside, my life probably looks just like a million others, but I don’t see it that way, and not just because I’m still hellbent on world domination. No one likes being a statistic. Truth be told, I probably spend more time trying to blend in than stand out. I’m just not very good at it, that’s all. Whenever I do something just so people will leave me alone, it almost always backfires. People who want attention can have it. People who want privacy can have that, too. But nobody wants all of one and none of the other. We’re just not built that way.

So don’t worry about Tom Daley. He’s always been a shameless exhibitionist.


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